The last time I was forced to be still….

I was in my last set at the gym,

My hammies were getting tighter,

The ‘pop’ accompanied with collapsing to the floor said it all,

I had torn my Achilles.

I remember so clearly,

Sitting on my couch, staring up at my vision board which I had just finished about 3 weeks earlier, thinking wtf!?

Then being so angry, I didn’t cry (crying is not really something I did), I asked why,

I went through the blame game and everything,

And then all of sudden there was nothing…

I looked up at my board, and saw these eyes staring back at me with the words courage and shine…

That was when I shifted out of what felt like the darkest days of my life.

In a way it forced me to face what I needed to and let go.  I let go of my story of depression that I had been allowing to keep me prisoner.

We all have our own ways of coping in moments of adversity.

It was returning to the ocean that helped me find my place again, and helped me to se what was already there in front of me.

I began to share my journey, Soulwater Paddler through a blog, as a way to be accountable to myself.

Long story short, that’s how The Outrigger Coach came to life.

The last five years have been crazy. Travelling and paddling in places I never thought possible, meeting amazing people, making new friends for life, and also experiencing some big challenges that come with all that.

Most recently I’ve had some pretty big things happen around me which made me question life again and my purpose (not in a dark way).  I slowly started to withdraw from paddling because I got caught up in a space that I could no longer trust, and started to lose my passion for.

I’ve been on a journey back home, reconnecting through my whakapapa and its been good. But, there have also been a lot of my own judgements I’ve had to face and its been really confronting for me.  Leaving me feeling uncertain if I am doing the right thing.

Now, I’m forced to be still again…. I am reminded that this is just another opportunity to grow.  To slow down, stop being ‘busy’ to avoid that discomfort that comes with change.

I’m reminding myself again that I am part of something bigger.

This right now is a collective adversity we all face.  And I’m not going to turn my back on a community who have given me back as much as I have given to them…

I’m reopening the Catch for any paddler who wants to join in and be better.  We may not be able to paddle but we can still do technique work off the water, and the benefits of working that mindset will be everlasting!  Of course its free but I will be screening people because I have no time for people who are all talk.

As always said with much aroha.

Lets work,

H x