For those who are new to my page, here is a little background.
I started it as a way to help me through my depression when I got pregnant with my fourth child. Soulwater became my strategy to helping myself heal. It was all about connecting to my soul, through the water.
I’ve written ‘that letter’ before. For those of you who know what i’m talking about, my love to you. It’s not a nice place to be.
A great deep hole of darkness, void of emotion, just numbness.
Feelings of defeat and failure, guilt and sorrow.
No matter how hard you try to explain the feeling to someone you just can’t. When you get to that point you are done. All you want is for that pain to go away, so you write the letter.
I used to think that having depression and feeling the way I did mean’t I was broken. In a sense I was but I felt like it made me less of a person. How wrong was I!
Even though I felt lower than low and like there was no way out there was this tiny little voice inside me that kept saying , “The only way out is if you help yourself”.
Now what I came to realise is that I needed to work out how I got to this point in the first place. I have one of those childhood stories that no child should have to experience. And throughout my adult life I tried to show my worth and value by being the best at everything and going beyond what was needed.
Trying to be the best mama, wife, friend, colleague, employee, teacher, guide, coach, business woman, and so on.
Because of society’s norms I allowed my self to be boxed in under these labels. When I was an employee, thats all I was. When I taught it was from a pedagogy perspective through the lens of a teacher to a student. In business I was a business woman who had to commit all my time and effort to making my business work. And as an athlete, it was training like an athlete 100% commitment. There was no room for anything else, or so I was led to believe.
Throughout my journey with Soulwater I was determined not to box myself in anymore. It was taking up way too much of my energy trying to be all these different people. I was done with being unhappy, pretending, and frustrated and left at the end of the day feeling shattered.
Why couldn’t I just be me in all those spaces? What if I woke up one day and just put on one hat?
That would be amazing! I would feel free. Have so much more headspace to be creative again. I would be able to enjoy my kids and my family.
I knew I wasn’t feeling alone in that because I have always had other mum’s comment on how they don’t know how I do what I do. It used to make me feel like I was selfish and then guilty. But I have come to realise that actually for me to be able to serve all those spaces I need to make sure I am being looked after. And yes we all know this but when it comes to the crunch and your day is not going to plan it’s normally your self care that takes the back seat right.
So that’s what my journey with Soulwater has been for me. Finding myself because somewhere along the line I got lost trying to please others.
As a mama we work damn hard! You would do anything for your family. So take that work ethic with you daily under one hat. Look at the world through that lens and you see so much more love, kindness and awesomeness in the world because that what you will project onto others.
I’m all about pushing those boundaries, showing the world that a mama can do anything! I’m passionate about living to our potential and to do that we need to live a balanced healthy lifestyle. I do this by looking after my physical, spiritual, mental, and social (connectedness) wellbeing. If we care for each of these areas equally we are able to step up into being our authentic self.
I’m on a mission to help other mama’s take charge of their lives like a mother! No regrets. Because that’s who we are.
So put your self first mama and look after yourself the way you look after your family and the world is your oyster!
Take charge of your life like a mother!
Drop me an email on firstname.lastname@example.org
or checkout the service tabs on my Facebook page Soulwater NZ
#fitness #goodfood #mindfulness #connection