Stuck in a rut? Maybe you are standing in your own way?

For years I would look at other people who looked like they had it all with envy.  I wanted to feel like how they looked, happy, content, excited to greet each day.

My reality was so far removed from that though.

On the outside it all looked pretty awesome.  I even had a friend say,  “yeah she has a cute house, cute dog, cute husband and cute kids, she’s got it all”.

It definitely did not feel like that on the inside.

At home, all I could see was days on end of clouds, or like a really humid day when you see that haze across the horizon, there was no clarity or feeling, just a numbness and an ever deepening hole of sadness.  This might sound weird but I liken it to a horse wearing blinkers, your view narrows, and narrows and so does your hearing.   Almost to the point where you totally distort what is being said.

I don’t know at what point in my life it started for sure, but what I do know is it got worse and worse.  I finally came to a point where I had to do something because deep down I just felt there was more.  Even though I had that negative mind chatter telling me otherwise I couldn’t help but recognise that feeling in the pit of my stomach that something wasn’t right.

I became aware of the two voices in my head and the power of them.  I watched them both and began to learn what they fed off.   It came to a point where I needed to make a decision, because I realised I had a choice and I chose to step out of that space.

It finally dawned on me that I was holding myself back with all the negative talk about being worthy enough, guilt from years of mood swings and lashing out, poor decisions I had made in the past playing over and over in my head and keeping me there.  My rut was caused by me, no one else.  I had to stop blaming everyone else for my situation.  It’s true when they say what you focus on is what you create. I was focussed on drama form my past and kept creating it, over and over.  Initially that made me angry, but then I chose to move forward and it soon became my power to thrive, not to heal but to thrive.

In my journey I had to let go of some friends and family. I had to surround myself with truly authentic people who focus on love and positivity.   Don’t worry, not hippies or anything, just straight up honest down to earth normal people. You see, to be in touch with your inner self you don’t have to be anything but yourself.  It was the mirroring of others that got me in this situation to start with.  Initially I thought some of these friends had ditched me but I realised it was me who was pushing them away because of the stories I was telling myself.

I now navigate my way through life from my whole wellbeing, making sure everything I do impacts on my physical, spiritual, mental/emotional, and social connectedness in some way.  When I operate from this space my life is so much easier, decisions are easy to make and I don’t have the drama around me that I used to because I am clear on where I am, not just where I am headed but right here right now.

What I learned really quickly was spending too much time in the past (most of us do) or trying hard to control the future, we end up in that vicious cycle of drama.  The only thing you can change is right now right here and there very rarely is any problems right now in this moment is there.  Can you see the power in knowing this?  It is key in realising we create the drama ourselves.  And yes, we get put into some situations that are out of our control, but you still get to choose how you react to it.  This is what the fight or flight mechanism was created for, to give yourself the space to make the best decision for your survival and to do that you need to be present.

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Coming off my end of wave in the Hyundai Pro Longboard Tour

 

It takes me back to a day when I was out surfing some really big swell that had come through on the back of a storm.   I got a few nice waves and then my last one (its always the last one), I got smashed.  I tumbled and pushed down by this wave and totally lost my orientation. I didn’t know which way was up and it was dark.   I panicked for a second and went to swim, took three strokes and still did not surface. That’s when it happened, I gave in, surrendered to what was happening.  I was resisting what was happening and my panic got in the way of me being able to make a good decision. As soon as I relaxed, my body floated up to the surface and there I was. I grabbed my board and caught the next whitewash back into the beach.

That is a valuable lesson I will forever hold onto because it taught me the importance of being here right now.  My mind was in a space of panic because all I could think about was what was going to happen to me rather than what was happening.  Can you see the difference? What was going to happen hadn’t played out and was taking all of my focus so as soon as I surrendered to what ‘is’ it gave me the space to make that decisions to relax.

I refuse to accept that depression is an illness. That is what kept me in that space for so long.   And if you were to diagnose me I would say it would have been pretty severe, especially with all the suicide attempts.  What I know now for sure is that this experience has been a gift, an opportunity for me to reset because I had come away from my centre, and now I am whole again and stronger than ever.

I am on a mission to change how people look at depression. It’s not an illness that can be easily medicated, the evidence is right in front of us all in the fact there is none.  Please share with anyone you think needs to hear this.

To do this I have set up my business as a mindset trainer for women, although men follow my page too. This is what gets me excited to get out of bed in the mornings and do what I do.   If you haven’t already please go and LIKE my Facebook page.

If you need some help getting out of your rut flick me an email or PM me on my Facebook page.  I offer a complimentary strategy sessions to help you gain some clarity and to see if we are the right fit for each other.  Because I only work with women who are 100% committed to taking back control of their own lives.

 

Hiria x

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Strengthening my connection to me….

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From about the age of 3yrs old I have memories of how my mother used rongoa Maori (maori medicine) in everyday life.
She used to keep bottles of sea water in the wardrobe which would come out for important karakia (incantation).
And I also remember going on adventures into the bush with my dad to retrieve the various plants my mum requested for healing.

When I was about 7 or 8yrs old I vividly remember going up into the bush on my own and collecting the leaves of various native plants, taping them inside my book and labelling them with their name, where I found them and what they were used for.

The ocean played a huge part in our lives too from providing us kai but also healing.
When I look back now to those moments in time I realize they were all lessons.
It’s little wonder I was so attracted to these essential oils at a time in my life that I really needed them.
I’ve always acknowledged our connection to nature because I have witnessed it from a child and seen the amazing things that can happen.
But like most as we grow older and get caught up in that daily grind and hustle and move away to “better ourselves” we slowly close our senses off to that connection.

It’s as though right here tonight I have had an epiphany and can feel the huge responsibility as a Maori to ensure the integrity of rongoa by using ‘correct tikanga’ when working with wairua (spirit) and connecting to the plant, which is the key to potentising its effectiveness.

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I have been using the essential oils for the past 6 months now and the impact it has had on my own healing (torn Achilles) and whanau health has been huge.  I also use them for preparation with my training and getting me in the zone and focused.
I love how it has given me the ability to take responsibility and control over the little things I would usually run off to the doctor for.
I spent years attaining my degree and post grad studying about the human body and what makes it tick inside and out and right now I feel I have finally connected the dots.

What I know now for sure is that it’s not my identity I lost, it was my connection to it.  Pressures of society on how to be made me feel like I had to shut it out.
I am going to share what tools I have used and continue to use in my daily self care/wellness including karakia, exercise, good food, essential oils, and taonga because they all contribute to improving and maintaining my hauora (well-being).
In the meantime if you want to know more about essential oils or other strategies I have used to take back control of my wellness take up my 30min complimentary strategy offer where we can see if we are a good fit and if I have the solution for you.

https://calendly.com/hiriarolleston/30min/04-11-2017

As always, much appreciation for following my journey,

 

Hiria x

Here is the key to finding your purpose. It really is this simple.

Are you still searching for your purpose in life?  Feeling like you are just going through the motions of day to day life and really want to find your purpose so you can wake up feeling energised to be?

Please read on.  What I am about to share with you is pretty simple and it was a total hallelujah moment for me.

Seriously, imagine goosebumps, angels singing, butterflies everywhere, got the picture?

This is how it started, I had been on my mission to find my passion and purpose in life because I felt like there was so much more to life than what I was currently experiencing.  I did the usual that anyone in my stage of their journey would and brought a stack of self help books, enrolled in a couple of online courses, surfed a lot, went to inspirational workshops and seminars, and then read some more.

In one of the courses I did i had to do a vision board.  It was huge because I like to dream big.  It’s what I always taught my students to do.

I was doing well shredding bad habits and replacing them with healthy ones and getting some good routine and consistency going.  I was starting to feel excited again.

And then four days out from my big paddle event I had been training for, while at the gym I completely ruptured (tore) my achilles tendon.

You would think I would be beside myself (especially when my trainer said to me “you got a good change of gold at this event huh”) but I wasn’t.   I was surprisingly cool, calm and collected. I had been working on being more present you see so when this happened I immediately surrendered to what was going on and it gave me the head space to do what I needed to do with clarity.   Without panicking I managed to organise the proper care I needed and a good team around of professionals to sort my rehab.

In the couple of days following my injury I had my race I had been preparing for.  Many thought I would not do it but something deep inside me was telling me I could.   I felt strong and invincible.  I was lying on my couch and looked up at my vision board that I had brought out to the living room to remind me of my dreams.  Right in the centre of my board I had glued a pair of eyes and surrounding them I had the words time, shine, evidence and courage.

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That was when it hit me. All this time I had been searching elsewhere, externally for my purpose when what I needed to do was look within, at me.  I knew right away I was the key, who I am and choose to show up as daily.  I knew it was time to step forward into the light and shine.  The evidence was right there staring back at me, and seeing this gave me the courage to do so.

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Give you perspective of my vision board.

Since then I have made it my priority to show up as me first and only me. Yes there have been challenges, but its all learning.  And its helped me to be more aware of where I spend my energy and what supports my growth as a human being across my whole wellbeing.   I now know what my purpose is and its most likely the same as yours, to show up daily as your true-self and speak your truth because when we do this it creates space for others to do the same and that is how we lift the wellness and healing of our world.  And I do this through living my passions of family, business, surfing, paddling, martial arts, rongoa maori, weaving,  because that is where my creativity shines and my energy grows and it helps me to be the best version of me so that I can help others to be their best.

When we do what we love we shine.

When we shine, time does not matter.

The evidence is all around you,

Have the courage to acknowledge it.

Since my enlightenment I started my business as a Mindset Trainer to help empower other women to find their success. If you have had an aha moment from reading this please go to my Facebook page and share it in the comments section. I love knowing if it has helped in anyway.

Thank you for being here, right now reading this. I really appreciate it.

Hiria x

Mindset Trainer for women in life and business