I’ve spent my entire adult life and a good chunk of my childhood battling good days and bad days.
I used to lie in bed till at least 12 o’clock on most days. I had got to a point where I just wasn’t functioning properly anymore and my business, family life and sanity were all paying for it.
There were days where I would wake up and feel like I was just on the wrong side of the bed, usually accompanied by a headache or more common for me (a migraine).
I remember the migraines were intense. So much so I had to literally lock myself in the bedroom and pull the blinds for total blackout because the light would hurt my eyes and then my head.
I also remember I used to get these migraines after a full weekend away tutoring my students, or when a huge amount of energy was required of me.
I’d wake up, and tell myself its best I go back to bed or it will get worse.
It wasn’t until I realised what was happening. I was starting to see how frail I had become. I was so out of whack physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually that I just could not function.
I remember how I used to feel and how I could just get up and go and was so fit and strong, and it just made me feel worse.
I knew I had to change something because what I was doing, was not working.
I had to sort my eating because that was pretty poor, mostly no brekkie, or I wouldn’t eat till 11am most days. And then the rest of the day was pretty random too. By the time I was hungry I would grab the high carb sugary foods like cereals or toast and other processed foods to fill the gap. That would only make me feel worse.
I also use to just sit in front of the TV all the time and got to know Dr Phil pretty well (lol).
Eventually that little soft-spoken voice inside got cloudier and I decided to do something because I couldn’t live like this. I was always sick with migraines, colds, I got shingles, and my body was just breaking down with injuries.
I woke up one day and decided that today was the day to start new and reset.
I worked on getting rid of all the unhealthy habits I had settled with and replacing them with healthy ones. Like eating food as close to its original form as possible, cutting our refined sugars, and no more processed foods (as much as possible). I also cut out adding dressings because that’s where a lot of sugar likes to hide.
I made a point of focussing on my movements better and not just thrashing my body till it felt numb to escape the boring of my life and pain at the time. I started to enjoying what I was doing again got back out in the water.
I also did a lot of work on me, internally, the self-care stuff. I never really got the “stare at yourself in the mirror” thing. It just never worked, until I had actually looked beyond the superficial. Once I realised my potential again, and the power I have when I set my heart to it, I just got goosebumps, and when I looked in the mirror again I saw something different in me, I looked brighter, my “eyes were up” and I felt love. Sounds cheesy maybe but it’s exactly how it played out for me.
I started to use only positive words, and love when I spoke and this in turn changed my body language too and my posture. I shifted the negative self talk that was controlling me and now I navigate from my heart as I was meant to.
But one of the key things I did and continue to do is #jfdi. If there is something I need to do I get it done without thinking about it so hard because it’s that point where ego comes in with the negative mind chatter and then all of a sudden, back on the couch!
I used this with my headaches to and those days when I feel super tired and just can’t adult. I ask myself “what am I resisting’ and then the answer will usually come and I realise it’s just me slipping back into old habits. Within half an hour my headache disappears.
What I know for sure is that if we don’t deal with the emotions and feelings we have inside of us they present in our body physically so that we have to take notice. So if we can take back control internally we can heal ourselves. I still have days where I feel super tired and want to blob but that’s when I ask myself what am I feeling? And then I realise I have possibly been doing something that doesn’t sit right with me which is why I feel drained. The awareness is the key to moving forward. Without that we are stuck.
A lovely woman I recently met said to me “its like a clear day and then there is that one dark cloud, it doesnt stay there forever, it moves on”. So should we!
Bit of a long one this one. I was going to do bullet points but as I started typing I felt I really needed to get this out. Because I know there are others out there who are working on taking back control of their wellness too. I hope this helps.
As always thank you for following my journey, with love,
When we take accountability for our own wellness, we improve the wellness of our whole community.
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